i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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