HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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