I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
