You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
