I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Mom said you looked used
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
