dude i'm inner monologue high
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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