I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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