Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
