Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just high enough for therapy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
