i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
