remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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