Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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