i don't like sucking hair
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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