I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
