Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
