Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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