i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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