I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
