Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
