Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
