How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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