when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
