I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
