WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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