if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
