Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
