we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
