When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
