I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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