I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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