so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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