when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
