he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
