who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
