she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
