happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
