those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
