Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
