Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
