one two three fourrrrnication!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
