with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
