Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
