I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
