I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
