last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
