we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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