That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
