Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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