I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
