Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
