Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
