so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
