Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
